Don’t allow others to consume you. If they don’t call, go to sleep. If they don’t message you, put away your phone & have a good day. If they are distant and refuse to tell you what’s wrong, go home and do something fun. You live for yourself first. They are secondary.
I feel a bit sad. One of the people asked me to go hiking. I don’t know why my stomach drops every time someone asks me to go hiking. I really want to as well. It’s just fucking sucks. I hate everything and it just hurts everywhere. I want my body to be normal once again and do shit that I love.
It’s just discouraging. I don’t know if I am progressing or regressing. I don’t feel any differences.
Everyone keeps saying how resilient I am. I don’t want to be resilient. I am trying so hard not to break down or cry.
its just so fucking unfair that disabled people need extra support but in order to actually get that extra support we have to have both the energy and ability to express ourselves to deal with the bureaucracy of getting that support and i just. i am so tired.
Often the capacity to go through the bureaucracy of the system efficiently and effectively without it being massive, incredibly difficult burden means you would not qualify for the overly strict requirements of disabled, which I am certain is on purpose. I’m convinced the cruelty is on purpose. They just want us to die and they put as many obstacles in our way as possible for that reason.
